I remember watching you sleep night over night with overwhelming feeling of love and an equal amount of fear of losing you.
I would sleep almost setting down with you on my chest for the first 6-7 months of your life, just so I could feel you breath and caress your tiny little back.
You always seem healthy and smart to me, a very active boy! But somehow I knew you were different, I knew you were special.
As time passed I notice some of your challenges and weaknesses that came with a lot of silliness and quirkiness and I learned to love and appreciate every part of your genuine being with all included.
When you came into my life you change me forever…
You give meaning and purpose to my life, you made my life more challenging but so much more incredible. I grow every day because you confront me with my self, you test my own limits, you make me ask the hard questions, you make me better and with your love you show me the way to love.
I can only thank you for being the son you are, for your raw sense of reason, so pure so magical. You are absolutely amazing to me. At your short age you know me better than anyone. You know when I need a kiss or a hug and even when you need to just walk away. You always have a kind word and a sympathetic “don’t worry, its okay” which magically changes everything.
Today it’s your 9th birthday and I want to say that I would never change the joy of being your mother even with all and the challenges that comes with this job. You are my strength, my balance, my dignity, my glee and my victory. You have been a master to me and for that I am so grateful. For me you are not just another autistic child of so many, you are MY Autistic child;
… For all that you are, you are more than a blessing to me. I just hope I have the pleasure to see you grown old and become the incredible man I know you will be.
Happy Birthday my boy.
Love you dearly,